Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Sarawakians Rock!!

FICTION

1. Hey, u s'wak people live in trees ah?
YES, we have elevators too...they're really an engineering feat cos its not easy to fit an elevator into a tree.

2. U guys got electric isit?
Yes...but since cost of transmission is too high due to the geographic barriers..we use independent solar panels and mini turbines scattered all around, they are exactly 30,000 of them!!

3. Over there got wat car?
We ride wild boar. When the plane arrive at the airport, we take our wild boar and ride it all the way to our tree house.

4. Got road mer?
No. Just jungle trails and a few roads around town.

5. U bidayuh from Sulawesi there ha?
Yes we are head hunters. Human brain is the best food...

6. S'wak is inside Sabah right?
No, we're one state u idiot..Sabah is a town in Swak.

7. Eh?? Sabah n S'wak not same mer?
Yes!! how many time do I have to tell u Sabah is a town in Swak!

8. Kuching big ah?
So so la...but we have the largest population of stray cats in a city in the world!!! About 400,00! Why do u tink they city is called kuching.

9. Kuching got many cats la..
YES LA!!!! how many time i have to say?

10. Kuching got Malay?
Doh'

11. S'wak ppl can speak English?
No..but we can speak french because we were colonized by the french in the 18 century and then by the aliens in the 19 century, so our local dialect is pretty much based on some alien language that nobody understands.

12. Kuching got airport or u use boat go Johor?
Kuching airport is only fit for a fokker..since a fokker cant go so far..we have to use a steamboats, no joking !! steam boat..cos swak is so full of timber..its cheaper than diesel or any other petrol.

13. Miri? Then you all got a lot of oil ah?
Yes.. We drink oil like you drink water..

14. Eh.. there so hot.. got aircon or not?
Ngaiti.. treetop breeze.. aircon what for?

15. How come you all got shirt wan?
Yalor hor.. shit.. this feels itchy.. we used to walk around in underwear nia.. very breezy you know.. even our girls are sexy.. you guys jialat lar..

The REAL FACT (SERIOUSLY)

1. The only state was ruled by a white Rajah.

2. S'wak is the largest state in M'sia.

3. S'wak supports whole M'sia with its own economy (PAY ATTENTION HERE EVERYONE) now u will know how generous sarawak is ! :) Without S'wak, there won't be Putrajaya or KLCC...

4. S'wak population is 2,176,800. Kuching has 458,300 (7th most populated city in M'sia).

5. There are 27 ethnic groups that speak 45 different languages and dialects;
1) Dayaks (Bidayuh and Iban),
2) Melanau and
3) Chinese

6. 70% are English Literate.

7. Kuching International Airport hosts a number of direct international flights.

8. S'wak has never achieved independence. Ruled by Brooke Family, given to the British Empire, offered to Malaysia.

9. Kuching is the most livable city in Malaysia and the 7th most livable city in the world. Even KL is behind at 12th..

FACT (LIGHTER SIDE)

1. Of course we have electricity.

2. In Kuching (Sibu, Miri, Bintulu n others), we see Mercedes Benz till we wanna puke.. WE R rich ppl ! haha.. ! Honestly, in just one family, the min we already had 2 cars.

3. The only people that live in trees are realli realli ppl living in the jungle.

4. Our guys are handsome n chicks are hot! Very hot~!

5. The size of Sarawak is the equivalent of.. umm.. uumm.. the size of.. uumm.. big la big la.. [nick: almost the size of semenanjung malaysia,about 124,449.51 square km]

6. Kuching is one of the best cities to live around !! yoyoyo... Kuching rocks ! kch kia and ppl now then we realli realli know how lucky we were ! cheers !

7. Sarawakians are the BEST!!

8. We got alot good food; Sarawak Laksa, Sarawak Kolo Mee, Sio Bee, Market Beef Noodles, Market Chicken Rice, Belacan Beehoon, Bidin & Paku stir fried with belacan or red wine... (YUMMY) & lots more... :P

Well, feel free to add, but u must be a Sarawakian, or else u will get the Santubong curse where u will be turned into stones n mountains :P

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