Saturday, June 09, 2007

Live Life To The Fullest

Dear Diary,

It's a Saturday and I have been sitting in front of my notebook since 6 pm. Doing what? Chatting. Browsing. Watching drama. Darn. I am supposed to do something important. It is dued on the 15th and I keep dragging only. Sien.

Lately, I think I've lost myself. Where is the old and responsible Eryn? The one who knows what to do and how to deal with her life. The current me is stuck somewhere in Penang. Sad. Pathetic. I think I've turning into a lazy bum. Haha. I am now even lazy to play dotA too. That's my favourite game of all.

Sometimes I wonder if I am given a chance to turn back the time, where would I want afresh from? The day when I stepped into my secondary school? I hate my secondard school. Most of the teachers and students there are a bunch of retards who look down on those who doesn't take Chinese. So what? We don't take Chinese. That doesn't mean you can put us in the last class ma. Haih. No matter how clever or how much you score, you will end up in the last class afterall. Even in Science class. I still remember. I went for my Add Maths tuition class and never speak to any of the students there. We are all from the same school and I only respond to my teacher. Why is that so? Because all of them speak Mandarin and they think I do not know how to speak Mandarin. When I tried conversing to them in Mandarin, they replied in English. WTF.

Hmmm. How about the day I stepped into MMU? I am supposed to go to UTP in Perak but seems like I have no fate with that. Due to some reasons, my mum forbade me from entering that U and well, she forced me to choose between Form 6 or XXX College. Reflecting back, I was the only girl in my class who get accepted for Form 6 (for the first batch) and since I don't mix with those from other classes, I decided to throw my life away by entering XXX College. Life sux there. It's a rojak college that teaches all sort of subjects and the students there only knows how to play around. Argh crap.

Hmmm. What if I moved to Cyberjaya during my second year? What if I chose to work in Kuching? There's a lot of WHAT IFs in my list tonight. Apparently, tonight is a night for me to whine instead of getting my work done. Bugger! -.-"

I went out with my colleagues last night. We had fun chit chatting at the mamak for 2 hours and I got back at 2 am. Keng hor? Crapping with a bunch of males early in the morning. What to do? Working with a bunch of engineers. One said he enjoy his life and the other said his life sucks. Now matter how bright the sky is, it will turn dark anyhow. That's what he claimed. How do I describe my life lei? Of course I will never say my life sux. I am living my life to the fullest. Just that I think I've turned into a lazy bum and is indecisive most of the time. Sometimes I feel lonely too.

Arrr. I think I better get my work done. :(

12.04 a.m.

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