Friday, May 23, 2008

Obsess No More

I stared at him for a while. He looked fine and happy just like the the way I brought him back that night. I even called him a pig as I always find him sleeping comfortably in one corner. Maybe he was exhausted I don't know. Maybe he's too young for all this crap. I'm such a horrible owner. Yes, I am talking about Fabby. He's .... DEAD! FUCK! Sorry for the cursing but I just can't help myself. I'm so depressed right now. So sad. The poor creature died because of me and Sharon. I have to push this responsibility to you somehow no? But it was all my fault! I'm a lousy and uneducated pet owner. I'm so guilty now! I'm a murderer! GOSH! THIS SUCKS!

I can't be obsessed with Fabby no more. He's gone. He passed away an hour ago. When I got back just now, I saw him there, all curled up. He did not squeak when I tried to stroke him. I blew some air at him regularly but still, there's no response. Normally, he would be squeaking like there's no tomorrow. I called him the King of the Kings in squeaking.

Sleeping again I assumed.

I took him out from the cage and placed him on the stool. His walking was upsetting to watch. It was horrible to see him in such condition. It was horrible to watch him suffer. I stroked him again. He opened his eyes to see me, trying to hold as long as he could. I can only pray that he will be tough. At least for tonight.

Fabby, looking at me for the very last time.

He wasn't doing well. His breathing was very frequent. He tried responding again when I stroked him gently on his fur. He couldn't even stand on his feet. I tried helping him to stand on this feet. He hold there for a while but eventually fall again. Maybe one of his limbs was broken I thought.

He didn't open his eyes after that.

I prayed for miracle to happen. Perhaps, he would recover the next day. Perhaps his wound will heal and he might just have a broken limb that's all. This is not happening. I kept messaging Sharon and even sent her MMS so that she could be updated. She even tried hunting a new cage for Fabby but the shop was closed. I know. It was my fault to place both Fabby and Sooty together. I should separate the two of them in the first place. I thought they were okay, you know?

He looked like he cannot survive. He just inhaled and never exhaled. I goggled, trying to search for answers. Perhaps, he was exhausted after 'some strenuous activities'. I stroked him again and again. Fabby I called out. Please be tough. You cannot die just like that.

One of my last photos of Fabby.

Few minutes later, he was gone. Sadly to say, he died with his eyes open.

Life's just too short for him.

I placed him in a container, gave him some supply of food and perhaps some beddings just to keep him comfy. I know I'm crazy. At least he will be leaving with a comfy casket full of supplies right? He's still lying there on the stool and while penning this down, I kept looking at him, hoping that he could be awake and move around again. It's nearly 11 now and I haven't take my dinner. Guiltiness just strikes me. I am not craving for mud pie no more. Sobs.

Fabby, my cute little white pearl hammy. More pics of my beloved Fabby in my previous entries.

It's for REAL. He's gone. RIP Fabby. You'll always be remembered although you're only with me for 3 days. 3 DAMN fucking days Fabby would say. =(

A video of Fabby, struggling hard. It's just my last video of him. =(


maoi said...

:( fabby pls RIP

Sharon said...

i felt really bad for his death too, partly my fault. i shouldn't have wanted them to hump so much :( i hope he's in a better place now

wyenn said...

:( sad. so sad to watch the last video of fabby. trying so hard to stand up but cant :(((
RIP fabby... condolences to crap :(

Ă…nGe|e said...

omg... poor Fabby could barely stand on its feet in the video :(

R.i.p lil buddy.

You know Eryn, it wasn't your fault if Fabby is dead. You didn't know this would happen.. Don't blame yourself,ok?

Eryn said...

Thank you guys. I still miss that poor thing. Sigh. =(

Pray he's in a better place now.